Three posts in 1 day, stay tuned?

 

It's true. Many people don't know my story. I have been told that life is like the ever-changing seasons and with each season people come and stay or come and leave.  Whether it be for a short or long period of time people come into your life for specific reasons and although it may not make sense then, it will after the time passes.

There are 3 pictures before my first paragraph.  They read: "You know my name, NOT my story", "Beauty isn't about having a pretty face.  It's about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul", and lastly a picture that was taken September 15th 2015, J's 25th birthday.  We were in D.C. Each picture will get an explanation within this blog.  This will be introduction to who I am, and who I am becoming with each and every passing day.

Writing in a blog is healthy. 
Sharing stories is healing.
Everyone has a story, it's up to them whether or not they want to share it.  
This is my story. 
My past, present, and future.
My concerns, thoughts, and adventures.
I'm sharing my life.
Here's to being 25 and starting over.

"You know my name NOT my story"
For starters my name is Katelynn Maria Yanes and I absolutely do not like that last name.  It was my real father's last name and He was not in my life for the majority of it.  He was only in my life for a period of a short time.  I am 25 years old,  My birthday is July 11th which coincidentally is also Free Slurpee day for 7-11 stores nationwide. Joy! I was raised by my Mother.  It was just her and I for 17 years.  That ended when she met my step father who I call "Dad" and they got married 9/22/2007.  Literally 7 months after they met.  I thought it was weird at first but then hey, when you know you know.  I met my real dad when I was 17 years old and it was awkward and weird.  He lied and snuck back into his country 2 year later and I haven't seen or talked to him since.  I hated him for a while but now I just forgive him and that's all.  I don't need to think about him really.  I have been in real shitty relationships and have almost become a statistic, but I got sober and smart.  I got an apartment, finished college and worked part time at a pizzeria and graduated college 12 months after.  I went on some lame dates and then just stayed single for a while.  I got my first "real office" job and got in contact with my now boyfriend.  We started talking and well the rest is history and that's only been what's been going on this past year.  I have 4 older siblings 3 younger siblings (from different dad's....i'll explain later) a sister in law and a brother in law.  I also have 2 nephews.  I drink coffee but not as much as I used to. I went to West Virginia for 2 weeks and changed my life. I am still jobless but I am not giving up hope.  I sent out 5 resumes today.


"Beauty isn't about having a pretty face.  It's about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul"
I have always been told I'm beautiful.  By my family, ex boyfriends, friends, people, friends, strangers, etc..  I haven't been able to believe a single person until I literally realized it myself.  I may have confidence now but it wasn't something I always had.  I wasn't happy with my weight or myself.  When I was in middle school I was the perfect weight.  I weighed 150 and my Doctor even said "Katelynn you are at your perfect weight for your height.  Don't gain a pound, don't lose a pound" wow, what a heavy burden to put on a 14 year old.  I obviously gained plenty of weight and was not the same since then.  I haven't seen myself in the 100's or even the 200's in years.  As of now I weigh 245.  I was 276 before I started Purium which is a lifestyle change not just a diet.  While I was doing the 10 cleanse/detox I really started seeing myself as beautiful.  My skin was clear, my eyes were brown, and I was feeling healthy.  I had a total transformation.  I know see it.  I am a rare beauty.  I have the looks, the personality, the mind and soul.  I am a rare beautiful young woman.  It took some time to realize that, but it's true.  I love myself and see myself as that beautiful enough to get healthy and do right by my body.  I'm figuring out how to truly love myself flaws, failures, and success's.  I am Beautiful in every way. It's time I've accepted it.

"My picture"
That was taken September 14th 2015 in Washington D.C.  My boyfriend J and I decided on doing a trip he wanted for his birthday "weekend".  He's a chef so his weekend was week days.  We did Hershey park Sunday, Washington D.C Monday, and Harper's Ferry Tuesday and he left that night.  That day was one of my favorite days.  We were on vacation together.  This was my first vacation with a significant other and it was the best one.  We really had a great time.  Life is such an adventure since I've met him and it bring such joy to my heart.  Here's to many more posts of my love life, since he's the best thing to ever happen to my life.  My soulmate<3

Job Searching. Interviewing. Getting Denied.

I can't help but think that with each passing phase of the moon, it brings something new.
Just like leaves changing and falling, preparing for the cold winter, only to get warmed up in spring and everything comes back to life after sleeping for what seems like an eternity.
I have been jobless since April 2015.
I have had jobs since the summer of 2005 so me not having a job for so long has been awful.
I have discovered new things, new traits about me, and even new weakness's.
I have been sending out my Resume to potential employers.
I have been turned down.
I keep getting shut down and it's probably because I am as qualified as most people are.
I had 2 full time jobs within 6 months of each other.
One I won over but the second I left my first real job for only to be "let go".
The excuse the office manager gave me was "You're young enough to find something new".
I am starting to think that's false.
It's been officially 5 months I have been unemployed and I am starting to doubt my worth.
I sit at home and wait for my boyfriend to come home from work.
I sit on our laptop and watch Netflix.
I get depressed
And I'm trying to stop that.
It's time for me to grow up and stop playing the victim role.
I need to start making change and that starts with me,

I recently watched the movie "War Room" and I noticed that without God things are not as easy.  Without God you don't really have success but yet then I wonder this How many successful people don't believe in God?

Why are things not going well for me?
What could God possibly be waiting for from me?
A hint would be nice.

Day 1; starting from scratch

I used to profoundly agree with this statement, that Love was really like a <b>roller coaster<b>.
That was due to me not choosing the best relationships.  I chose relationships on people who were hurt like me.  My longest and worst relationship was with a boy that I've known since I was 11 years old.  It was more of me being comfortable then actual love.  I was more in lust with this boy then in love. I maybe loved him for the first 4 months of our relationship but after then I started to really fall out of it.  I couldn't stand the way he looked at me, or even spoke to me.  He took to long to answer my texts and I would constantly get sinking feelings from him doing wrong.  It's as if God was trying to expose his indiscretions to my but I was to prideful to accept them.  He was cheating and even though I knew he was, I waited for proof (which you don't ever wait for. your proof is your gut feeling and when it says "get the hell out" you pack your pride up and go).  He became abusive and I lost everything cause of him.  The finger was always pointed at me though, it was always my fault.  The reason why his grandparents didn't trust him cause HE stole from them.  In the summer of 2012 I was homeless with him. I reached my lowest of low and I knew it. I had traded everything for him and what was I getting in return? Blame.  It was such a roller coaster being with this guy, this guy who supposedly "loved" me, who would cheat on me while I was working and then blame having him picking me up from work is the reason why he had no gas.  Meanwhile I had given him $40 right before to get gas, so where did that money go R?

It was the most dreadful moments of my life and I remember feeling so hopeless and feeling like there was no escape. Now 3 years single from him and almost a year into my relationship with J and i can't help but realize that it takes a bit more healing to get over the past.  I have formed fights with Jesse just because.. there was no reason, it was what I was used to.  However, those tricks no longer work.  J loves me and shows me it everyday.  I can't make him a victim for the damage that was done to me.  He deserves better and I am going to start.  Today is a new day and so is tomorrow although it's never a guarantee.  Here's too many more days with the Love of my life and to starting over....

Here's to Day 1!